When PDA Meets Executive Dysfunction

What is executive dysfunction? Executive functions help us to initiate, sequence, switch between and complete tasks, manage time, make decisions, and hold information in our mind. Many neurodivergent people can find these tasks especially difficult. These difficulties are called “executive dysfunction.” The crucial distinction is where difficulty in doing something does not necessarily align with difficulty in wanting to do it. Examples include wanting to get dressed but not starting, waiting to do something once it becomes urgent, or being stuck between tasks.
	What is PDA and demand sensitivity? For some autistic people, experiencing something as a demand can produce anxiety, resistance, avoidance, or a freeze response. These demands can come from others, but we can also impose them on ourselves! “I want to do this”, “I should do this”, and “I have to do this” can all feel very different.
What this might look like You decide to do something or are asked to do something. You might genuinely want to do it and have every intention of doing it. But once it becomes a task you need, should or have to do, it can start feeling like more of a demand. If you factor in the executive dysfunction, it can make it difficult to find out where to start, switch from what you’re already doing, organise the steps involved, or make yourself start. You might feel frozen or stuck, even though you know exactly what needs to be done. As time passes, the pressure builds. You might repeatedly tell yourself to start now, deepening the sense of demand while also struggling to initiate it. So, you may avoid it, distract yourself, become anxious or feel frustrated with yourself. Eventually, a deadline or consequence might remove the choice to keep delaying. The urgency can provide enough activation to begin the task, potentially leaving you rushing to get the task done in time. To some people, this can look like laziness or procrastination. It is not. It is neurological wiring, and you are not to blame.
Things which might help There is no single strategy which works for everyone. Think of the following as ideas to experiment with, rather than yet another list of things you must do. Approach these options with curiosity instead of obligation. Reduce the demand. Tweak your internal dialogue so phrases such as “I have to,” “I must,” or “I should” might feel better as “I could,” “I might,” or “when I’m ready.” Giving yourself two options might also make tasks feel more approachable. Make the first step small and specific. “Get ready” contains a multitude of smaller tasks. Instead “lay my clothes out on the bed” might feel like an easier task. Remember that the first step is not commitment to the whole task. Create a sense of urgency. If deadlines kick you into action, you could experiment with countdown timers, setting your analogue clocks 15 minutes fast, or writing down earlier deadlines. For something people this creates momentum, but might increase others, so notice how you experience these adjustments in the moment. Body doubling. Having another person nearby when starting or completing a task can provide external structure without the pressure of supervision. This could be in person, on a video call, or while somebody else quietly gets on with their own task. Reduce decisions in advance. If starting also requires deciding what, when, or how to do it, there are lots of opportunities to get stuck. Small steps such as laying out your clothes, writing down the first few steps, or putting things where you need them can reduce pressure down the line. Make transitions gentler. Sometimes the hardest part of starting a task is finishing the last one. Using music, a hydration break, or a small transition ritual might make the switchover easier. Be careful with reminders. Reminders can be useful for some people, but for others they can feel like demands. Most importantly, show yourself compassion. There is no single solution for everyone. Find what works with you and examine your process with curiosity instead of blame.